My cousin and some friends were throwing a bachelors party for one of their colleagues and he told me of their surprise party. Pretty soon
after hearing this I was going along for the experience.
The mention of a strip club awakened all my journalistic instincts. “Dafe abeg make I tag
along now, ehheen. E don tay wey I won do story about strip club but shame no gree only me go investigate. shey I fit follow”? I asked trying to look like a warri puppy drenched in the rain.
“Oooohh who send me to open my big mouth sef? Sis, no vex, babes no fit follow us go that kind place, shuooo; na strictly men affair,”
Odafe replied.
After much pleading, bribing and blackmailing(threatening to tell his girlfriend if he doesn’t allow me) Dafe finally agreed that I could come
along as long as I keep my ‘aproko’ views to myself.
Seven hours later, I was standing at the entrance of Cave strip club in Ikeja. As the boys negotiated and paid for the gate fee of N5000
(five thousand naira) each, I braced myself for what the night holds. Will I find a stripper with an 80MMM mammoth floppers in a bra,
dancing skillfully on a brass rail? I felt like I was doing something wrong just by being there.
This is what I found from the experience:
(1) My first impression was flooded with
admiration for the strippers
Okay, I wasn’t expecting this to happen. But I couldn’t help the ‘Na wa OOO” look that stuck to my face at the sight of the beautiful, naked
young ladies. When I said naked; am simply saying ‘Yansh and boobs with self-esteem’ perfectly sculptured body parts and skin that
looks like butter and milo.With this impression cemented in my head,
some ironclad certainties about strip clubs finally came to light. A strip club concerns itself not with fantastical burlesque; it’s a place you
literally get mobbed with girls trying to sell you
N1000 lap dances.
(2) Not all strippers hate their jobs: many are educated and from rich homes
People just assume most ladies become strippers out of frustration, lack of money,
family issues and so on. Well, not all strippers
hate their jobs, although money is a major
factor why ladies do this job, according to
Stacy (not her real name). She strips for the
money and the experience. Now, Stacy didn’t
just leave her job to talk to me, no way “Time
na money”. I had to pay for a lap dance and
cook up a lie why I wanted a chat for a few
minutes. I also promised I would put in a good
word for her with my cousin so she could
entertain his friends. With a few Naira notes in
hand and a ‘lifetime’ of 15 minutes, Stacy
watered my curiosity with more salacious
information.
“Me I dey school, my mama and papa dey do
well, but dem no know say I dey do dis kind
job. Me I just like am. Some girls strip here for
the money, some for the fun, some get pinkin
for house and no money, some get family
issue.
“So na different reason dey make girls strip but
many of us are educated at least to OND/HND
level. Some ladies have skills and are stylists,
makeup artists and tailors and they come to
strip for the extra money. Whatever their
reason, na dem body and their choice because
money dey this work pass ashewo,” Stacy
added.
(3) It is a fast money job, but they lie about
how much they really make
A popular strip club owner in Ikeja once said in
an interview. “In a strip club all you have to do
is simply do a lap dance for a guy or sit on
him. When you sit on him, you whine and he
gives you money, some can give you N5000,
some can give you N10, 000, some can even
give you N20, 000. And you can make N150,
000 to N250, 000 in a day or week.”
“No b lie say big boys dey come here spend
serious money oh, we have a lot of rich clients
who come here often. We also have the
average guys who don’t have too much money
to spend, they start their night by going to a
cheap club where their drinks are not expensive
like Cave. When they have had enough drinks
with their boys, the come to Cave, pay the
entrance fee, get a few lap dances and then go
home. Some Lagos big boys knows how to
spend money. So yes, we make plenty money;
but I never make 150k in a night or week before
OO. Beside the competition here is stiff and
serious,” said one stripper.
With up to a 100 girls working at a time; the
strip club is a war zone with only one motto -
“survivor of the smartest and nastiest”.
Dancers are forced to be bold and competitive.
Every girl is trying to outsmart the next girl. It is
fairly easy to make money. Where else can you
go without any skills, knowledge, and earn
thousands of naira a week??All you need to do
is get a skimpy outfit, drink some shots, get
your butt aka’ Ikebe super, medium or tiny ‘on
stage, and do lap dances.
While this isn’t emotionally or physically easy
and does require courage, you don’t need a
resume, an interview, or even a high school
degree to make money. Everything is cash.
When you run out of money, all you have to do
is go back to the club. So life becomes a chase
of fast earning and faster spending. There are
some smart strippers who use the job
strategically to save money, but that is not the
norm.
(4) All kinds of men go to these clubs (even
pastors!)
What motivates men to go to strip clubs varies
across generations. By talking to the young
men I came with, I learned that for them
watching nude women dance is a rite of
passage as common as a first kiss.
Most men venture into strip clubs to fulfil the
same basic needs. "Stimulation, relaxation,
escape, human touch. Men don't think like a
feminist. They go where the staff treat them like
kings and they compensate them for that. They
liked to be entertained to keep their minds off
their troubles. What these stripers go through in
their life is none of their concern.
Ladies, you assume that men go to strip clubs
purely to get laid, am I right? I'm not saying this
doesn't happen; sometimes it does. Most of
the time however, a stripper really functions as
a cheap therapist with little clothing.
Sometimes, strip club patrons just need
someone to talk to, someone who won't judge
them. What I'm trying to say is that you can't
just blanket a whole gender and activity and
say "men do this because…".
(5) There are no strip club rules in Lagos:
aside from sex and kissing
From Hollywood movies where I first saw a
stripper, my idea of a stripper is a dancer who
teases you in pants and a bra and the
customer doesn’t have the right to touch you.
If he breaks this rule; a scary-looking bouncer
throws him out of the strip club. But this is not
the case with strip clubs in Lagos. As I sit
around and watch the activities at the strip club
I was confused; I felt like rushing out of the
place in disgust. Everywhere are men cupping
boobs as these girl twist on their thighs? I had
to permanently fix my eyes on a TV set and
pretend I didn’t just saw a creepy look on a
man’s face as he touches a stripper.
I wonder how men watch a stripper take their
clothes off and gyrate seductively, and get
provocatively naked only to leave without
pursuing the matter further. They are never
satisfied; they are blown to and fro by the
products of their own desires, forever unfulfilled.
And in the end they will pay N1000-N20000 for
the show, Na wa oo; which kind sexual ‘suffer
head long throat’ be that?
(6) Women and couples are fast become
frequent visitors at strip clubs
I saw a total of four ladies and a pair of
lesbians seated at different tables. They also
requested lap dances. A couple was seated on
my right laugh and both were comfortable
touching the strippers. Jane, the bar girl, said
this is normal as couples believe they need to
explore their sexuality. “Some girls don’t really
like to come to strip club with their boyfriend
but because the guy likes clubbing, she just
comes along so another girl won’t snatch him
away from her.”
(7) Strippers prize their physical appearance
over and above their other qualities and
abilities
Strippers seemed to be dissatisfied with their
bodies and were more likely to scrutinize their
physical appearance. The reasons for these are
obvious – no hot body, no fast money.
(8) Many girls get stuck in the lifestyle because
of the fast money and when they try to go work
in the real world-they find difficult if not
impossible to survive.
They strip for years and forget what they
wanted to do with their lives. The lifestyle can
give you a false sense of security and if you
don’t plan, you can easily be locked into the
business. They also make bad relationship
decisions. But this might not be the case for
some serious few, who desperately want to
leave the life of stripping.
(9) Strippers pay club owners a lot, they don’t
make 100% profit
From each lap dance to stag dance, the dancer
has to pay a percentage to the club. Strippers
only keep 60-66% of their actual earnings;
depending on their contract with the club
owner.
(10) Being a stripper is not as easy as it
sounds, it’s depressing and harder than most
professions
It's not easy being a stripper. There's more to it
than meets the eye. It is hard on your body, but
you also have to sell the idea of sex, and
project "sexy" even when you're not feeling it.
My thoughts
I saw ladies who have done everything but
given up, they think they have found a new
model for success. But it’s time to change. A
strip club is an exhibition of a low-grade sexual
frustration counteracted by a low-grade erotic
satisfaction. Even though people say you will
have fun when you go to a strip club; please
bear in mind it could be an uncomfortable and
awkward experience. Brace yourself.
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