Abuja - The list of questions below should have
been discussed and agreed upon before you
plan to take the plunge into marriage.
Being able to communicate, compromise and
agree on these important issues will avoid
unexpected disappointments and disagreements
later on.
• Who will be responsible for the care and
maintenance of our home and garden?
• What proportion of our monthly income will
we spend on home payments and maintenance?
• Can we both live with the other’s level of
hygiene and organisation?
• How much do we earn together at the
moment? What is the forecast for the next five
and ten years?
• Who is responsible for bringing in the main
salary? Will this change over the next few
years?
• What is our financial goal? (Try to decide
on an actual annual sum for which to strive)
• How do we plan on working together to
achieve this goal?
• How much does each of us currently spend
on food, clothing, accommodation, insurance,
vehicles and so on?
• How will our annual or monthly expenditure
on each of these items need to change once we
are married? Is this realistic?
• What hours will each of us need to work?
• If these hours are unusual (very long or
during the night, for example), is the other one
happy with this arrangement?
• Is there any way that one of us could stay
at home if the need or desire arose?
• Are we each happy with the other’s level of
ambition?
• Are we, as individuals, happy to give love in
a physical, emotional and sexual way?
• Can my partner feel that I love him or her
when we are having sex?
• Am I happy with how often we have sex?
• When I feel that we are having too much or
too little sex, does my partner react in a way
that satisfies me?
• How long is too long without sex? Do we
both agree on this?
• Who will buy the groceries and, therefore,
decide what we eat?
• Will we eat meals together? Which ones?
• Who will prepare meals and clean up
afterwards?
• Are we happy with the eating, health and
wellness habits of the other? (e.g. does he
exercise enough? Is she smoking too much?)
• How much will my family feature in the
marriage?
• How often will we visit our respective
families? Will we do this together as a couple?
• Will relatives that live further afield be
invited to come and stay with us? For how
long?
• Do we both feel the same about whether to
have children and do we agree on how many we
want?
• When will we start trying to have a family?
• What religion will our children be taught?
• What kind of relationship do we want our
children to have with our own parents and the
parents of each other?
• Will one of us stay at home when we start a
family?
• Do we like one another’s friends enough not
to interfere with their relationships?
• Will we want to become more involved in
our community or circles of friends? Or do we
need to cut back on social commitments to
spend time with one another?
• Will we share the same religion? If not, are
we completely happy with and respectful of the
religious affiliation of our partner?
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