Just read this wonderful article sent in
by Tomi Sule..It's a must read
We have heard the saying“It is better to
be alone than in bad company”;it is
great to be married, but I believe it is
better to be single than to be in a
marriage where you feel trapped and
dead on the inside. A broken
relationship is better than a
broken home, so if there are signs of an
unhappy marriage already showing in
your relationship, please have
the courage to walk away. It is better to
let go of the’ good’, so the ‘best’ can
come. if you aren’t in a relationship,
the good thing is that you can make the
most of being single by building
and preparing yourself to be a great
partner and spouse when you do get
hitched… How do you
maximise singlehood? What should
you do while ‘waiting’ – or looking for
Mr or Mrs Right?
1. Open your eyes:
Don’t shut yourself off from the world,
be accessible. You may not have a very
active social life when you’re married
because of increased responsibilities,
so this is your chance to build
friendships that will stand the test
of time. Besides, how will you meet
a potential spouse if you don’t
give yourself the chance? Rebecca in the
bible got a husband because she went
to the ‘well’. The well was a social
meeting
point for shepherds and maidens
because it was the major source of
water in the area and almost everyone
had to come there. It was a good place
to exchange greetings and chat while
you waited your turn to fetch water and
since it was done every day, it was
a good spot for the beginning of
many‘promising’ friendships.
Join a gym, a department in church, a
club or start a new hobby where you get
to meet people. The idea is to make
friends and get to know them –without
an agenda.
When you know people in a
relaxed atmosphere, they also get to
know you and potential ‘courtship’
relationships can begin…I must say
this, where you go determines the kind
of people you’d meet. Anyone one you
meet in a brothel, a night club or a
friend’s bachelor party may not
have the same values as you and may
be the cause of ‘regret-worthy’ one
night stands and unwanted
pregnancies waiting to happen to
an unfortunate victim; so choose your
social activities wisely!
2. Look inside:
To be good company, you must learn
how to successfully stand alone. You
can’t support your future spouse and be
a backbone when you haven’t learnt
how to support yourself emotionally
and otherwise. A successful marriage is
the coming together of two ‘whole’
people not two ‘halves’.
That’s why the seemingly romantic line
“You complete me” is like a
fallacy, because no human being can
‘complete’another person because they
are not God. Yes you may feel better
around someone and you
may fit together like two peas in a pod,
‘5’and ‘6’…. and all the ‘perfect
pair’synonyms, but you need to
discover yourself, your likes,your
purpose, your passion and what
you want out of life. Focus on YOU,
focus on building your career, on
building your character and building
your dreams; that way when he or she
comes along, they will be proud and
feel so lucky to be with someone
like you.
3. Be patient:
I know this seems cliché or maybe crazy
if you’re way past your 30s and under
pressure to settle down, but the most
mistakes in life are made when you’re
in a hurry. Count the cost of getting
married and be sure that you
are ready. Don’t get married for
your mother, or for society,do it for
yourself. You will be the only one in the
marriage with someone else, so
why shouldn’t you be allowed to make
sure you’re ready?
Desperate choices bring
desperate mistakes so take your time in
getting to know people and getting to
know
yourself, your future spouse
will appreciate you more. Besides,
your attractiveness drops when you’re
too eager to get hitched, haven’t you
noticed that people who seem to not be
looking for a relationship always seem
to have ‘chasers’? Maybe waiting a little
before you commit to a relationship
will save you from
avoidable heartbreaks, bankruptcy
and abuse.
4. Grow, improve, but don’t change:
I’ve seen cases where people lower
their standards, pretend to be who they
are not, and disregard their values only
to be heartbroken in the end. If anyone
cannot love you for whom you are, then
you are better off without them. Be the
best version of yourself,but by all
means never try to be someone you’re
not to gain acceptance.A lot of
marriages have suffered from great
shock when during years of dating the
man was a romantic gentleman with
suave and manners, and when he
gets married he reveals the ‘cave man’
inside; and turns a wonderful wife into
a bitter and disappointed woman.
A lady who hates the ‘heat’ of the
kitchen pretends to be a domestic
goddess to attract a husband and turns
into slob after marriage, much to the
disappointment of her husband. Please
be open minded and willing to change,
but don’t make up a fantasy of
perfection in order to trap
someone. You were created
wonderful, you are beautiful inside and
out. Work on getting the beauty within
and without to shine through. Anyone
who cant see and appreciate the unique
and wonderful person you are doesnt
deserve to be with you. Any love you
are not secure, confident and feel peace
about, will not changed by marriage. I
see a wedding coming up that will be
the beginning of a wonderful marriage
and its got your name on it!
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Thursday, 10 July 2014
Quit Waiting For Mr Or Mrs Right:Take Action!
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