Response To TheStory Of RCCG Student That Killed His Father

In light of the story you posted on your
blog about the RCCG student that killed his
father, and the response to it by comedian:
Wale Gates, I will like to share a little bit of
my story to educate my fellow LIBers on
the dangers of abusing their power and
authority over their children, I believe there
are a lot of people with stories similar to
mine that will have the courage to speak
out after they read my story, and they will
also realize that they are not alone in their
experience. While the action of the RCCG
student was despicable and evil, the truth
of what led to it may never be known, but I
believe there is an opportunity for a lot of
people to learn from that unfortunate story
about how parents can sometimes push
their children to the extreme limits.
While my experience did not end up a
tragedy as that of this unfortunate young
man, I believe it might have had the same
underlying tone and pattern.
I am a 40 year old successful woman who is
based in south Africa, I’m happily married to a
wonderful man and just had a bouncing baby
girl, I have a good life and i love my life, but the
only thorn in my life is my relationship with my
mother. I grew up having a very toxic
relationship with my mum, a relationship that
soured after her divorce from my dad while i was
a child, after the divorce my mother took all the
children with her and for some reason singled me
out by physically and emotionally abusing me
repeatedly, she believed i have a lot in common
with my dad whom she hated with a passion.I
grew up in a home where my mother will call me
various malicious names, and repeatedly tell me i
will not amount to anything in life, she once told
me she wishes she had aborted me when she
was pregnant with me, i remember being chased
out of the house as a teenager, and left to sleep
outside alone overnight for not properly doing
house chores.
This toxic relationship endured into my
adulthood, I grew up never having the
opportunity to have all the beautiful things a
relationship with one’s mother can bring, every
time something great was happening in my life
my mother was always there around the corner
to “pour sand in it”, she went as far as
cancelling my wedding a few times because I
would not invite one of her friends to it, she has
managed to destroy every meaningful
relationship I have with all my siblings and
extended family members by telling lies about me
and going on a campaign of ensuring i am cut
off from everyone, all attempts over the years by
family members to show her that she was being
malicious to me went on deaf ears, she spent
most of the discussions denying every thing i
accused her of doing to me and convincing
everyone that i am a liar. I have personally
approached her on several occasions to see if i
could get her to change but that also failed.
Not to long ago she claimed that she came to
visit my family and i since i was pregnant with
my daughter and close to delivery, while she was
around she almost destroyed my marriage by
sowing seeds of discord between my husband
and i, she went as far as gossiping about me
with everyone that cared to listen; this included
my friends and neighbours , it became so
stressful for me that i couldn’t take it anymore,
she did not even consider that i was heavily
pregnant. One faithful day i told her she had to
leave, out of my house and my life before she
manages to destroy the best things in my life,
that until she repents and realizes the errors in
her ways i was not willing to relate with her
again, while it was disheartening for me to take
that action it was the most liberating thing i
have ever done. Rather than repent, my mother
have again gone on a campaign of letting her
minions know that I “chased” her out of my
home and that i’m so ungrateful after all she
had done for me.
Sometimes when you push a child to the wall
you never know what they might do,while i could
never dream of killing my mum, the anger and
rage she evoked in me could have easily led me
to a dark place if not for the grace of God. The
general idea of a mother is someone who is
nurturing and ever loving, my experience have
been far from that, there are things my mother
did that i cannot even add to this writeup. A lot
of nigerian parents do not know anything about
parenting a child, their mentality is that you
should raise a child the way your parents raised
you, this approach involves flogging the child and
abusing him/her emotionally as one wishes,
there is nothing systematic to it. While some of
these children grow up and forgive their parents,
even going as far as replicating their upbringing
on their own kids, some realize that things could
have been different and are willing to stop the
cycle.